breastfeeding, Childbirth, Motherhood

The First Week of Breastfeeding – Newborn City! ðŸ˜Š

My best friend had her baby!!!! I’m full of all sorts of warm and cuddly feelings at the sight of the baby’s pictures and I am definitely reminded of the very precious first few days of a breastfeeding relationship.

As you and your baby get to know each other by touch and smell, you are embarking on one of THE most interesting relationships of your life–the breastfeeding relationship.

This morning, my one year old woke up while I was getting ready for work. I honestly ran out of the shower and into his room in my underwear to discover he had completely blown out of his diaper and was literally dripping pee as we ran back to the bathroom.

Needless to say, I stripped him down at 5 am and dunked him into a tub of warm water (wipes can’t fix everything ladies lol).

As I’m washing him and wondering how I’m going to make it to work on time, he reminds me that I am only in underwear as he twists my nipples inquisitively and says, “Eat?”

Lol! This boy hasn’t nursed in forever but he remembers what mommy’s tatas are for. Breastmilk! You make my daaayyy! (Thanks Dave Chappelle! 🤣)

I say all of this to say–at the beginning breastfeeding may be difficult. Your body is recovering–it’s trying to heal and close back up. Your heart is in love with baby but you’re simultaneously exhausted. Breastfeeding may add another level of fatigue and stress as you navigate your unique relationship with baby. However, it’s an experience you and baby will never forget.

Take the time to reach out to other moms, your midwife, OB, doula, and more importantly the lactation consultant at the hospital where you gave birth. They can help you even after you’ve been discharged.

Get help because even though it’s natural and you were born to breastfeed, it’s still a process that goes smoother with guidance. I love you guys and know that I’m just an email away if you have any questions.

LaborLandDoula@outlook.com

Love,

Tamara

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joy, Mental Health, Miscarriage

Your Angel Baby Would Want You To Be Happy

I had a moment yesterday.

I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since the loss of baby Michael.

I have moments where I cry uncontrollably, usually at night in my husband’s arms.

I tried to comprehend the grief and wondered when it would lessen.

I feel like I had more hope that I would be okay when he first died than I did at the moment.

I tried so hard to open up my mouth and pray. To ask God for some help, some remedy.

A little while later, I heard this thought…

“Michael is in heaven now and although he was a fetus when he died, he must be able to reason and think/communicate in heaven right?

What if he could see me in my sorrow? Would he want his mother to be in sorrow?”

These thoughts settled into my mind and helped me to come to terms with grief the way I do when an adult passes away.

We always say that in honor of “enter loved one’s name,” we will press on and live life happily because that’s what they would want.

That feeling is a little different when the person that passed was your unborn baby. You had not truly experienced their personality to know how they would want you to feel.

As a mother, I felt that if I didn’t mourn him, no one else would. The rest of life tends to move on faster than the woman who carried the baby.

But that brings sadness, and for some, depression that can barely be curtailed.

What if we moms of angel babies thought about baby’s desire to have us be happy.

Could that help to bring a smile to a face that hasn’t truly smiled in a while?

I hope so because I’m smiling. And it’s been a while but my 💓 is smiling too.

I know it hurts but try. I know you would do anything for your baby, so do this.

Be Happy.

Church, God, Mental Health, Miscarriage, Mom's Sanity, Motherhood, Relationships, Wife Life

Questioning God’s Purpose?

I have spent many days of my life honoring God’s purpose, will and plan for me. I have also spent many days questioning His will, plan and purpose.

When things happen in life unexpectedly, I get happy if they’re good and upset if they’re not so good.

There are times when I can rectify good and bad as part of God’s higher purpose for me. I can see that all things work together for my good.

However, as with most humans, there are times when I almost feel like God doesn’t know what He’s doing. I know that’s blasphemy to many of you but hear me out.

I get so focused on what I thought was a good plan that I cannot move past my perceived reality when my plan and His plan don’t match up.

I cannot know what He intended to have come out of something terrible because I truly do not know what God is thinking. He may give us snippets and clues every so often, but many times we do not know why.

All we know is that we should trust Him. Now, for most people, it’s quite impossible to put trust and hope in someone you’ve never seen before. I got you. Completely understand.

I’ve never seen Him before either. But I have felt Him. I have heard Him. I have needed Him in the past and He has shown up miraculously.

I guess this time around, it’s not stay in my relationship with Christ because He’s so good and He has done great things.

It’s more like if I think of all I have been through in my life and I think of what has helped me to be better and healthier, the only options left standing are family and God.

But even family can cause you pain and so can God’s mapped out version of your life.

So go at it alone? What do you think? Have you tried to handle the avalanches of life alone?

I have and it sucks.

I ultimately reached out to Christ again at 21 years old because life had dealt me several bad hands and no other source of relief on Earth could help me with the pain.

Yes, bad things will happen on our walk with Christ. It is a false interpretation of Christianity to think no one will die, our house will never be destroyed, our car will never get stolen, we will never be homeless, we will never get our hearts broken.

These things are all part of the human experience. Having tasted such bitter and vile experiences make the sweeter days sweeter.

Now, am I saying I’ve won this struggle yet? No, not at all.

My heart is still hurting for my little one. But I keep pushing everyday to work through my anger and hurt and ensure that my heart doesn’t grow cold towards God.

After my baby died, a good friend who had a similar experience told me it’s okay to be mad at God. I did not believe her and I refused to explore that emotion. I truly feel that if I had explored my anger towards God initially, I wouldn’t be hurting this much right now.

Be respectful but be truthful when you talk to your God.

He can handle whatever you throw at Him. I promise.

Thank you💕

Tamara

Friendship, life is a journey, Mental Health, Mom's Sanity, Sane Mom Tricks and Hacks

Feeling Sad?

I know. I know. My blog’s name is Blessed Wife. Happy Mom. so I must always be happy, right?

Absolutely not! Lol.

I frequently battle anxiety and with the lost of a recent pregnancy, I’ve battled severe bouts of depression.

I have searched high and low for simple ways to help me find some joy and this is what I’ve come up with.

1. Enjoy today.

It only comes once so if I try my hardest I can make a great memory that will last forever.

2. Smile. Without a reason too.

It will literally bring a contagious joy into your chest as you let the smile spread all over your body. Breathe into it. It’s truly relaxing.

3. Talk to GOOD friends.

We all have friends that make us laugh uncontrollably or understand our mood without us saying a word. Those are the ones I’m talking about. Reach out and say hi.

4. Water.

And that’s both inside and out. Rehydrate as often as possible and get into some water. Whether a long shower, a warm bath, or a swim in a pool, lake or ocean. Go. Now. Lol.

5. Hug somebody.

I’ve heard that a 20+ second hug helps you release oxytocin (the love hormone). Why not?

6. Go look at some greenery.

The relaxing color of the great outdoors is soothing to the mind. Go hug a tree or two.

And…

7. Remember that being happy is a state of mind.

You choose how much time you spend afraid to live or enjoying life. Choose the latter.

Happy thoughts to all of you. Lord knows we can never have too much joy. 😉

Tamara

Mental Health, Mom's Sanity

Go to Therapy (Self-Care at it’s Best!)

I recently heard Andy Mineo say that “Going to therapy is like getting a PHD in yourself.”

And it clicked. It made absolute sense. This is a great way to explain therapy to a person who’s never been to a session.

We have this amazingly large and truly negative stigma towards the thought of being “crazy.’

Honestly folks, we’re all a little crazy.

But honestly, going to therapy allows you to define and refine yourself.

It promises to bring you to a true knowledge of your unique presence–both on this Earth and in your mind.

Now, you may need to shop around the same way you would for a primary care physician but it’s worth it.

And besides, it’s already covered in your health insurance. Think there might be a reason why this service is included in every single health plan?

It’s because you don’t have to “look or act crazy” to see a clinical therapist.

You just have to love yourself.

Call your insurance provider or use your health portal to find a clinical therapist or psychiatrist near you.

Because in the words of Tiffany Haddish, “[You] need a session.”

Tamara

life is a journey

Excitement

Either for a night out on the town or for a day off to rest…have you ever just been excited for an upcoming journey?

I’m looking at new paths for myself and I’m excited.

Allowing yourself to dream is great. But, deciding to try to morph dream into reality give me goosebumps of anticipation.

My husband continues to encourage me to not just dream but to chase the dream.

I am learning so much on this chase. More than I could have imagined.

Even if it’s a teeny weensie dream, make it come true this month. You won’t regret the journey.

Write me so I can experience it with you!

Wife Life

The Ball’s in Your Court

“Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt, 98, prays with the Loyola University of Chicago team. A Loyola-Chicago photograph.” (Terri Mattingly, 2018)

If you feel frustrated about things happening now at work, school, church, home, marriage. I am here to tell you that there is something inside of you discerning when things are wrong. It is not your nor my job to complain or belittle. It is our job as people of wisdom and of faith to stand in the gap, pray for the involved people/institutions and ask God what is His will regarding your responsibility in the change necessary in that place.

Your purpose may to be prayerfully QUIET.
It may be to go to the person that is struggling to most and ask them how you can HELP THEM.
It may be to WORK HARDER, yes I said work harder at the place that is frustrating you.

You are only frustrated because you know it could be better.

Be the change you want to see. The change begins with you.
-Michell Obama, Forever First Lady

Don’t take offense, I’m preaching to myself first. That’s the best kind of word, the one that beats you up as you write/speak it.

I love y’all. Fight discouragement and make a difference for God. That’s all I’m saying. Forget to complain. Remember to pray.

Photo/Caption Credit

(Terri Mattingly, (2018). Why are Catholic schools so good at hoops? New York Times cites several good reasons. Retrieved from: https://www.getreligion.org/getreligion/2018/4/3/why-are-catholic-schools-so-good-at-hoops-new-york-times-cites-several-good-reasons).